About Me

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I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 13 years this November. I have three energetic kiddos ages 12,10, and 6. I have had one successful gestational surrogate experience and am currently working on journey #2..

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

An International Journey in the making

-So I knew when I started this blog that there would be ups and downs. Positives and Negatives. But I didn't realize how hard it would be to blog about the things that were not going as planned. I debated about blogging about my new journey. But I decided that I would continue because no matter what happens it will always be a part of my life and this would be a unique way to be able to look back over everything. So here we go. . .

-I am happy to announce that we are officially MATCHED!!!!!!!! I didn't expect it to go this fast but surprise :) So I was sent my IM's profile to review last Thursday and to my surprise she is from Australia. (I know what the next question that you are asking and no I do not get to go to Australia, I will be going to California for the transfer) My husband and I looked over her profile and discussed everything and decided to move forward with her to the next steps. I emailed Circle to let them know that we would like to move forward with her if she felt the same way. I knew that due to the holidays there would be a delay with everything and I was prepared for that. So I was shocked when I heard back from them Friday with a Skype date for that night!!!!!

-Now while all this was going on I was at work and having a very busy day at that and I was starting to get nervous that I would not be off in time. In Labor and Delivery things can go from super slow to running around crazy in about 5 minutes. But my awesome coworkers helped me out and I was able to leave in plenty of time. Thanks so much for your help Kaitlin :)  So we planned to Skype at 9:00pm my time which was 3:00pm her time (the time difference is kind of hard to plan things).

-So the Skype date went very well. I emailed Circle Friday night and told them that we were very pleased with the Skype date and would like to continue and apparently she did the same. Bright and early Monday morning I heard back from circle that she felt the same way and we were matched. Yeah!

-So now I wait to hear back from the legal staff for the contract and date we will fly out to meet her. Thank you everyone for supporting me and continuing to pray for my journey. I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Not the update you were expecting

As I sit here tonight updating my blog it is harder than usual, my heart is so heavy. So A lot has happened since I last blogged and I now feel comfortable updating everyone on it.

-Since my 2nd Beta test we were scheduled to go have an ultrasound on a Friday to see how the baby/babies were growing. On the Tuesday before at 6:30pm I was at work and had a large gush of bright red blood. At first there was no cramping only bleeding. About 45 min later the cramping started. I was bleeding and cramping all night long. We went in the next morning for a ultrasound which confirmed what I was scared of, that we had lost the baby. That was the hardest text to have to send to the people who were not only my IPs but have become my friends now.

-I do believe that we were put in each other's path for a reason and I believe that we will always keep in touch.  I do not feel it is my privilege to discuss their future decisions just know at this time we will go our separate ways. I have been so blessed to meet no only the IPs but their family.

-Everyone's question has been, What's next? And at this time I am unsure at what my next steps are. I feel in my heart that I want to finish what I have started. I feel in my heart that this is what I am meant to do. But the emotional part is so much harder than anything physical that I went through. I am a labor and delivery nurse and felt that I was prepared for anything that could happen. What I was not prepared for was the disappointment that I felt each time I had to tell them something was wrong. The failure I feel as I sit here unable to give them the baby that they deserve. So as of now I just pray that I will be guided in the right direction.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

2nd beta results...........

So I went in today for my repeat beta hcg. Let's recap the first was 190 and it is suppose to double in 48 hours. So today I am hoping for 380. 380 is the number that I was praying for. So the results are in and our results were 504!!!!! 

I am so excited that I can't stop smiling. My IPs are finally going to get to have a baby!!!! Thank you everyone for all of your prayers. 

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Tuesday is the new Friday

So the dreaded 2WW has come. Everyone knows that when the 2 ww starts,time stops. Each day seems like a week. You count the days down until you test. So my big test day is/ was scheduled for Friday. Notice how I said was. . . . . . . . 

So it was a typically busy day in the ER today when I had a awesome surprise. My favorite nurse ever, Amy come to the ER and drew my blood. She must have known how stressed I was and needed this. So blood draw at 9:30. At 11:00 I get a call from Amy which said " So I have your results, you are PREGNANT" holy cow the words I have been waiting to hear. My beta hcg 10dp3dt was 190!!! I will go back Thursday to have my blood redrawn to make sure it is doubling correctly. 

My IPs are finally going to have a baby. I'm speechless, ecstatic, emotional, and maybe a little tired. Thank you so much for everyone that was praying for us and following along on our journey. It has officially began:) 

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Home Sweet Home

So I have to say I had a blast in Boston. My IPs were so awesome and showed us the best time. So MJ and I woke up bright and early this morning. Our flight flew out at 9:00am and we wanted to be there in plenty of time so we go there around 7:30. We got bags checked, boarding passes printed, and was off to find a Starbucks:). We boarded our plane as scheduled and the Boston to Houston trip was relaxing and Uneventful (PTL) but once we arrived to Houston it was another story. Now if you have ever been to Houston airport then you understand how huge and crazy it is. We had to get from C terminal to B terminal in 45 min!!!! I was very out of breath by the time we got there. The plane I was scheduled it get on was running late (again PTL) because that meant that I was able to grab a burger so I do didn't starve. :) So here I sit on my flight from Houston to Fayetteville. And I am so ready to see my family. 

As far as the post transfer symptoms, I have had some mild cramping( a lot less severe than the last transfer). So I continue to pray that he protects and helps grow this sweet baby. 

 I knew the transfer would come and go quickly. But what I Wasn't prepared for was how hard it was to say good bye to them at the airport. Knowing that we would either see each other in 3 months or we would never see each other again. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. 

So that was my eventful weekend. 

Friday, October 25, 2013

Happy T Day

So the big day has come but I want to rewind and talk about last night first.

 It was recommended that we do acupuncture pre transfer and post. I was very nervous going into this, since I had never had it and I'm not a huge fan of needles. So we went and did the acupuncture last night and I have to say I am a believer now. It was not painful at all and I slept so well last night. 

This morning we were instructed to be at te IVF clinic at 10:30 and transfer at 11:00. I was instructed to take first Valium at 10:00 and second at 10:30 and like before 32 oz of water for a nice full bladder.

We were called back promptly at 11:00 and was taken to change clothes. This time we had a nice surprise and both IPs were able to come back to the transfer room, which I think was awesome. 

Like before I was placed on a table with stirrups where I placed my legs. They checked to make sure my bladder was full enough(which it was) then they took one last look at the embro babies before being transferred. They then transferred them without any problems. I have to say this time was so much more emotional. 

After the transfer I was moved to a recliner and was instructed to stay lying back for about 10 min before getting up. After the 10 min I was released to go relieve my bladder (whew). 

I was instructed by the acupuncturist to eat only hot foods today and room temp liquids to drink. So that is what I shall do. Nice warm pizza for lunch it is:) We will have the blood test in 2 weeks to check my beta hcg levels. So everyone please continue to pray for us.

So that was our very eventfly day that was followed with a day of lying around and a nice nap. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Viva la Boston

I am actually typing this en route to Boston on the airplane :) so this time around due to personal reasons my husband could not attend with me. So what's better than bringing my best friend and having a girls get away and mini catch up session. Although I am super excited about seeing MJ This will be my first time flying solo and anyone who knows me knows how VERY nervous and slightly anxious about it. I am leaving from bentonville and heading to Houston to meet her then together we are en route to Boston. 

My husband helped me get my bag checked in and then he saw me off. I made it though security and got on  the plan and only had 1 almost "moment" but I didn't and I have to say we are half way to Houston and it's not so bad. Seeing the sun rise from this angle is beautiful. It makes me look back on its surrogate journey thus far. Starting to journey I was terrified of getting shots- overcame that, terrified of flying - overcame that. It has been a real growing experience and I get tearful just thinking about it. 

I get the question all the time " Why would you go though all of this just to be pregnant for someone else" And my answer is simple. " why not" I personally felt a strong calling to be a surrogate and I knew it was something that I was called to do. Some people don't understand and will never understand but that's ok. It does not hurt my feelings. Just know that is so important to me. I have been an open book throughout this journey and will always continue to be. I answer any questions honestly that people ask and I feel that overall I have everyone's support and that is all I ask. 

Saying that I realized I never told y'all the T day. tomorrow.... Yup that's right 10/25/13. That is our transfer day and I couldn't be more excited. More details to come ....about to land

Nice and fluffy

Ok I have to start out by saying I am so sorry for being MIA lately. Between my sons baseball fall ball and travel team oh and not to mention work. I have been super busy. Saying that it is time to do some serious updating.

 I have been taking my cycle meds as scheduled. We did the same medication with this cycle as with cycle #1. Thank goodness I didn't have bad migraines this time around. My last day for the Lupron SC injections was Monday :) Although I was happy to see them go I knew it was time to start the Big Daddy injections the famous PIO ( progesterone in oil). These are the injections that have a lot larger needle and must go in the booty. So I started those Tuesday and so far so good. I am just thankful that I have a husband that will do them because I don't think I could give myself the injections.

I went in Monday for my ultrasound to make sure that my uterine lining was nice and fluffy for the embryo babies would have a comfy home. The requirement for transfer is 7. The day of the ultrasound I am usually so nervous trying to give my uterus a pep talk. I know it sounds crazy but so far it has worked :) Lol so in cycle #1 my lining was 7.1( whew barely passed that one)  this time around my uterine lining was 9.3!!!!! Whoop whoop. I was on cloud nine. So looking like everything is a good with the transfer. 

Keep an eye out for my blog will be a week of updates :) thank everyone for taking the time out and reading my blog and please continue to pray for my journey:)

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Cycle #2

I am so excited and yet nervous to start this next cycle. I received my calendar of medications and ultrasounds regarding when to start/have them and when the transfer will be, and it looks like the following:

-9/10- Start oral birth control- check (headaches)
-9/25 Start the Lupron 10 units sc daily
-9-29 Last day of oral birth control pills and will start period soon
-10/04 Baseline ultrasound to make sure my uterine lining is nice and thin as expected, Start the vivelle patches, and baby aspirin.
-10/12 Start the Estrace 2mg per Vagina daily
-10/21 Ultrasound in am to make sure that my uterine lining is nice and thick for the transfer.
-10/22 Start the Endometrin, Progesterone (Big daddy shots), Doxycycline, and Medrol.
-10/24 Fly to Boston
-10/25 TRANSFER!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I have pretty much cut almost all fast food out of my diet. I have trying to drink a lot more water daily and I am down to one soda daily. I have added alot of fresh fruits and veggies to my diet and I hope that this will help sort of 
cleanse my body to be ready to be pregnant. I have it printed out the calendar and have it hanging in my bathroom like. It is just fun to mark off the days until transfer.

 I was always taught to claim things as though they are. So here we go, This WILL be the cycle that takes, we WILL get pregnant, and we Will have a healthy baby. Please everyone be in agreement with me on this cycle that it will end on a positive note with a healthy baby.

Monday, September 16, 2013

What's next you ask?

Send Baby dust our way :)
I have sit down multiple times to update this blog, but it seem like every time I try nothing comes to my mind. The question that everyone seems to ask is "What is the next step" and the truth is I don't know. I know that we would do another cycle but I was unsure when we would start or if it would be different. If we would stay on the same meds or try new ones.

I have thought multiple times since the transfer "What could I have done different" And honestly I can't think of anything. I did the medicines step by step as ordered, I rested every time I felt the smallest cramp, and most importantly I put my whole heart into it. Every time I think about it, it break my heart. I want nothing more than for my sweet IPs a perfect, healthy baby.

So as of right now I do not know when I start the next cycle. I have been on BCP for about a week (and the headaches have been awful). So I just wait patiently until I get instructions for the next cycle. Thank you everyone for following my blog and keeping up with my journey and I promise I will let you know as soon as I know regarding the next cycle.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Beta Hcg Results

So I went first thing this morning to have my blood drawn for my beta Hcg. This is the test that test to see how much pregnancy hormone is in your system. I should be about 4 weeks so they are looking for the level to be above 100. I knew that the test was not an instant test but that I would know the answer by the end of the day. So as I patiently awaited the results I cleaned my house and did laundry. As I thought it would the day went by so slow. It seemed like every hour I was looking at the clock.

Around 2ish I got the phone call with the results. . . . . . Negative there was no hcg level in my blood. I am not pregnant. . . I was crushed, in shock, and so disappointed. How could this be everything has went so smoothly. The transfer went great. I had been taking the medication as scheduled and not a minute late. I was so confused. I knew that is was a possibility but it was one that I didn't think would happen so I didn't really consider it or put much thought into.

Then I realized that the next part was going to be one of the hardest things I was going to have to do. To tell the sweetest, most deserving people in the world that the embryo's didn't take and we were not pregnant. That they didn't have a baby/babies on the way. I mean wow what a punch in the gut. That is not a conversation that I ever what to have to experience again. I pray for peace and comfort over them to help them through this hard time. 

This was the hardest blog to type. I wanted to just stop and not write anything. To just hide from it. But I realized when I started this blog it was to document my journey, and sometimes bad comes with the good. So I decided that I really needed to share it for people who may be in my same situation. Everyone please say a prayer for my IPs for the hurt they are going through right now. I am not sure what the next step is at this time. All I know is that I have been instructed to stop all medications and I will be told further details at a later time.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

8 days down 6 days to go

The dreaded 2ww (week wait) that you will see everyone blog about. We spent months going day by day getting ready for the transfer. Planning each medication perfectly with the transfer date. Multiple ultrasounds to make sure everything looks perfect then the Transfer comes and goes and all you are waiting on is a simple blood test. Everything depends on it. No pressure right?

It seems like an easy 14 days. No biggie right. . . Oh my it's killing me!. So when I returned from Boston I knew that I had a busy work with all 3 kids going to school and me working. Not to mention Fall Baseball and Hunter's Traveling team. So I figured that alone would keep myself busy and the days would fly by, And they have. . .  . Until now. 7 days down. 7 days to go. Halfway point.

So you ask what has been going on with my body. I have had some mild cramping since the transfer, Def. hot flashes (gotta love the meds) and some killer bloating. But other than that it hasn't been bad. I pray everyday that these sweet babies have made a comfy spot and will remain in place.  This whole process has been teaching me that I really have to be more patient. So I take a deep breath in and out. And I keep repeating to myself. We are going to be pregnant. My wonderful IPs are going to finally have the baby they deserve. (Quit looking at me like that I swear I am not crazy). So that is what is going on right now. Please continue to pray for me and pray that the test results are perfect. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Transfer

~Lets see where do I start. I am updating my blog from the hotel on my phone so if it looks weird that is why. I was going to wait until we got home but I am just to excited to wait.

~ So we were instructed to be at the hospital at 10:00am, to take my first valium then, an to drink 32 oz of water and NOT empty my bladder. Now let me insert here I have never taken a Valium before so I had no clue how it was going to make me feel. But after taking the Valium I have to say it was very similar to taking a few shots of tequila ( not that I would ever do that mom) 

~About 10:40 we were called back to the room and was instructed to take the second Valium and change into a gown, robe, socks, and hat.  Now I do believe the hard part was attempting to stand on one foot and put on my socks.  I hear you saying already "why didn't you just sit on the potty and put them on" well it was because I had to pee very bad and that would just be a tease. 

~ So I then went back to the holding room and my IM and I was taken to the transfer room which looked very similar to an OR. **there will be TMI things discussed in the remainder of this blog so turn back now if you can't handle it**

~Anyways so once we got into the room I was instructed to sit on the table and place my legs in stirrups. They used an ultrasound to make sure that my bladder was full enough and my uterus looked good. Once we got the two thumbs up. They inserted a speculum into my vagina like a Pap smear ( no pain at all). The embryologist then came in with the embryos and tell us how they looked. The embryo babies were in a very small catheter that was smaller in diameter than a straw. They used an abdominal ultrasound and told us to watch for the bright light.l and just 5 seconds later we could see the embryo babies placed perfectly into my comfy uterus. The embryologist then took the catheter back to make sure that all embryo babies were correctly placed and which they had. All 3 little embryos were placed correctly. What a special, emotional time this was. 

~ After it was complete I moved myself back into a recliner and was instructed to remain there for 10 min and then I could get up and pee. The 10 min flew by and the nurse came back and told us that I was able to get up and get dressed. After I was dressed she told us that was I and we were free to go. I thought for sure that I needed to stand on my head or something. She laughed and reassured us that I just needed to take it easy and relax the remainder if the day.

~ So we are suppose to return to the lab and have blood work in 2 weeks to confirm our pregnancy. (Speak things as though they are.... See mom you thought I never listened. ) So everyone please continue to say a prayer for us. 

Monday, August 19, 2013

It's Finally that time

I know that it has been a week since I updated but I worked 4 12 hour shifts this week so I was slightly busy and tired. But here I am updating before we leave for Boston.

So my scheduled ultrasound was August 16th at 9am. I had to work that day 7am-7pm. So I was up and had a few hours to think about it. I was a nervous wreck waiting until the ultrasound since the whole trip determined by these results. I was told that the uterine lining at to be at least 7mm to continue with the transfer as scheduled. (No pressure right) 

The ultrasound was quick and easy and the ultrasound tech asked what my uterine lining had to be and when I replied 7mm she said "Good because it is 7.1mm" Eek!!!!! I mean how close can we get haha. But all I knew was I could finally take a deep breath because everything was going to be ok. I of coarse immediately texted my IM to let her know the wonderful news. Of coarse we were super exited that the time was finally here. After the ultrasound I returned to work and of coarse all my wonderful/supportive co-workers were waiting patiently on the news. And it made me smile so big to realize that they were just as excited as I was.

So let the planning began. It's was Friday and everything had to be booked and scheduled for Tuesday. Circle had my airplane tickets booked without a few hours. We fly out Tuesday am and get to Boston that evening. We will have the Transfer on Wednesday at 11:00am. I finally finished my Lupron injections which was a bittersweet milestone. Good to be done with them but that means it's time for the BIG DADDY needles. Yup your right I started that Progesterone in Oil injections. So as I sit here updating. I have yet to pack my bags but I promise it is on my list. :) So everyone please think of me and be in agreement that everything will go smoothly and we will have a baby or babies implanted and will remain all snuggly in my uterus for 10 wonderful months.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

6 days until the Transfer

Yes you read that correctly. 6 days until the Transfer!!!!!! 5 days until we fly to Boston. 4 days until my kiddos start school, 3 days until my mom gets here and1 day until my ultrasound that determines everything. (so please say a prayer for me tomorrow around 9ish) Words cannot express how excited/nervous I am. When I started this journey 5 months ago this is the day I was waiting for. We have patiently did everything asked and with mild bumps passed everything with flying colors and was medically cleared. Now it is time to implant those beautiful babies into my comfy uterus and for him/her/or them to stay cozy for 40 long weeks :) and for my IPs to become parents that they so deserve.

I have been keeping myself busy so that the days would pass by quickly and I wouldn't just stare at the calendar everyday. Yesterday I finished up entering  some of the kids clothing in Rhea Lana and taking them up there. If you have never been to Rhea Lana it is the neatest thing. You go online register and enter your kids clothing and how much you are asking. When your done entering them you can choose to donate them or pick them up. Then you take them to the store and place them according to size and wait for it to open. Then they  mail you your check (Most the time I spent it there buying the kids more clothing). Like I said very awesome.

Today we get to take both kiddos to meet their teachers at school I officially have a middle schooler. (eek where did my little girl go), a 3rd grader, and a pre schooler. and my oldest son has baseball practice. Then BIG ultrasound tomorrow to find out my uterine lining. Work Saturday and Sunday. All 3 kiddos start school Monday and fly to Boston Tuesday!!!!!!! So everyone please keep my in your prayers and Thank you for taking the time to read my Blog.

Monday, August 5, 2013

17 days until Transfer

So I went to my ultrasound appointment on July 31st. This ultrasound was to make sure that my uterine lining was nice and thin following my BCP and my menstrual cycle. I was told the goal was for the lining to be below 5mm. So of coarse after the ultrasound I was anxious to know the results (I know I have no patience at all, but I am working on that I promise) . But since the office I have been going to Parkhill Women's Clinic is Awesome especially Amy I received my results that day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . Mine was 3.70mm YEAH. So it looks like we are right on track.

So as far as my medications go. I have been on the Lupron injections since July 22nd, I started the Vivelle patches on August 2nd, and also started taking baby aspirin on August 2nd. I don't know if it's been the combo of the meds i have been taking but I have been having killer headaches and hot flashes lately. But if that is my worse side effect I will take it.

I literally have a calendar in my bathroom that says what meds to take on which day and I have wrote on the calendar the days until the transfer and I am so surprised at how fast the transfer day is becoming so close. I have everything all lined out (I think). My wonderful mother is coming to stay a week at my house and watch my kiddos. I have my work scheduled covered (kinda), my husband was able to take off to go with me. So now we just wait until my ultrasound on August 16th to find out what time we leave.

So it looks like my journey is starting to really take off. I just love that I have this blog to share with everyone my journey. I am so happy with how supportive everyone has been. I honestly haven't had any negative comments regarding my decisions. Everyone from family and friends to coworkers at work have been so supportive and I thank yall so much for that. It truly means so much to me.

 Me and my husband went on a date night the other night to eat dinner and play mini golf and we couldn't stop talking about how excited we were and how awesome it was going to be to watch the IPs the first time they get to hold their baby. Just the though overwhelms me with happiness and emotion. 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

22 days till the Transfer

Yes I am counting down the days. . . Can you tell that I am super excited. :) I have the calendar of my meds in my bathroom and I am counting down until T-day . Which seems to be coming quickly.

So I have been taking my Lupron  (the shot in the belly) every morning. I finished my last birth control pill Friday and as expected Aunt Flo came to visit this morning (Bright and early, like at 0600. I mean she could have waited a few more hours. :() But oh well that just means that my body is doing what it is suppose to and we are right on track.  I go in for an ultrasound tomorrow morning to get a baseline  of my uterine lining. After my ultrasound I start my baby aspirin daily and the vivelle patches.

So I know that right now my updates are not very exciting but we are getting so close. So everyone please continue to pray that everything goes smoothly as planned.

Monday, July 22, 2013

31 days to go until theTransfer

So today was Day 1 of Lupron. I remember at the beginning of the mock cycle being so nervous to given myself a shot even if it was a tiny needle.  I believed the first Lupron shot took approx. 15-20 minutes because I was dancing around the bathroom afraid to poke myself. But after having to get the PIO injections in my bum(OUCHY) for 11 days the Lupron injections were so simple I didn't even feel it.

I woke up this morning and was super excited to give myself this tiny little shot because it means that we have officially started our REAL cycle. So I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom and got everything all ready and Boom it was done.  Took me a whole 5 seconds. It kind of feels good to be back on medication I feel productive. :) Like we are finally moving forward.

On another note,  I have been having the craziest dreams since we set the Transfer date. lol I don't know if it is because I am so blasted excited/nervous, but they are crazy. Well that's really all I have this time I just wanted to let everyone know that we are underway. Please continue to pray that everything continues to go smoothly and I will keep everyone updated on my journey.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

August must be a special month

Ok I know that I have already posted today but I received more good news. So it looks like my Tentative schedule is
7/17 start new pack of BCP
7/22 Start Lupron injections (that's the one in the belly)
7/26 Last BCP
7/31 Baseline Ultrasound and start vivelle patches
8/17 Repeat ultrasound
8/21 Embryo transfer.!!!!!!! This is the BIG day!

So it looks like we will be flying to Boston around 8/19 or 8/20 and will probably be there until 8/22. I am so flipping exciting. It is not long at all until hopefully I have a baby or babies safely settled in my cozy uterus for 10 months. :)

Oh and did I mention that my Birthday is August 22! So like the heading stated. August is going to be such a special month this year.

And my TSH results are in. . . .

A quick recap: So when I first found out that my TSH was elevated at 9 I was very surprised because I have never had any problems with my Thyroid levels before. So I was put on medication and it slowly came down to 5 in 1 month. But that wasn't low enough. The IVF clinic wanted it to be 2.5 or below. So they increased my medication and told me to recheck the labs in 3-4 weeks.

I felt bummed like it was my fault that we were being set back a month. With the TSH I felt helpless. I had so many questions going through my head. How do you lower it faster? What am I doing wrong?. I can't just sit here and do nothing but take a pill everyday and that can't be it. But I wasn't doing anything wrong and there isn't anything more to do. So everyday I took my pill exactly as I was told to do and I prayed that my body would do what it was suppose to do and lower my TSH. 

So the day we were all waiting for came yesterday. I went and had my thyroid levels redrawn. I was a mess all-day yesterday awaiting the results. One minute i was like it will be fine they will be what they are suppose to. Then 5 min later i was like what if they are just not low enough and we have to wait another month. So I wake up this morning with THE call from my Dr office (The best way to wake up) . and my TSH was . . . . . . . . . 2.6. I was like OMGeee yes!. And then I was like wait that's not 2.5 or below, Will it be good enough.

So I emailed the IVF clinic to see what the final verdict was and after waiting what seemed like forever (actually about 3 hours) I got the email that stated that it was good enough and we were cleared to continue on the REAL cycle. I texted the IM and we both had a large moment. What we were waiting for is finally here. We can finally proceed.

So my last active BCP is tomorrow. The plan is I will skip the placebo pills and go right into another pack of BCP and that starts our REAL cycle. I just can't stop smiling. It finally here. :) Everyone please continue to pray that everything is going to go smoothly without anymore set backs.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Wow it's already July

So I was just looking at my blog today and I realized that that it was been a while since I posted last. There is not a lot going on my way but I though I would still give a little update. So I have continued to take my BCPs as ordered. I go back to the Doctor next week to have my thyroid levels rechecked (everyone please say a prayer that they will be below 2.5) That is our magic number. It has to be 2.5 or below before we can proceed. I have been taking my Synthroid exactly as I am suppose to so I hope it is exactly where it is suppose to be. But until then I have just been enjoying reading everyone else's blog about there surrogacy journey and spending time with my kiddos.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

A minor delay

So I know that with everything that is planned there are generally a set back or two at some point. But my journey was going so smoothly. Until now. . .

Well I found out yesterday that due to my TSH being 5.323 we might have to delay the transfer a month :( (this broke my heart. The IM and myself was so excited that the transfer was coming so quickly) The IVF physician said that she wants the level to be under 2.5 before we transfer. So the plan is continue to take my Synthroid for 4 weeks (Remember we increased it last week) and at the end of 4 weeks retest my labs and if my TSH is 2.5 or below then we can continue as scheduled. If not then we have to wait another month and retest. Its slightly frustrating because I feel like there is something that I should be doing to lower it and I can't do anything but take the medication and hope that my body cooperates. So everyone please say a prayer that the medication works and my levels are perfect.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Endometrial Biospy . . . . Check

So today was the Endometrial Biopsy that I have so nervously awaited. The official ending of the mock cycle. I've asked many people what I am going to expect. All everyone said was "some abdominal cramping" So I took Ibuprofen 600mg before the appointment and headed upstairs. When I was called back to the room and was told "undress from the waist down". Then procedure was not near as bad as I had made it in my head. It felt very similar to a pap smear except when the took the sample of the endometrial lining. That was a odd pressure/ cramping feeling. But not bad at all.

So the procedure is complete as with the mock cycle. Now onto better things. . . the Real Cycle and baby making time.

Oh yeah the Thyroid results. I received the TSH results. They started around 9 and now they are down to 5.323. Which is a good thing but we still need them to be lower. So my Synthroid was increased to 88mcg daily. So we will recheck labs in 4 weeks and keep your fingers crossed that they will be within normal range.

Monday, June 24, 2013

And the Grand total is. . . . . . . . . .

I am having trouble getting going this morning on my blog for some reason. I guess after working the last 3 days doing 12 hour shifts has wore me out. So as the Mock cycle comes to an end I have been looking back to when it started. . . . Over the cycle I have completed the following and I have to say it really wasn't that bad.

-27 subcutaneous shots (the belly shots)
-34 hormone patches
-21 vaginal pills-These cause thick white discharge :(
-10 IM injections(the butt shots in the butt)
-3 vaginal ultrasounds- To check my uterine lining.
-2 blood draws

I have grew so much over the past 7 weeks and I am very proud of myself. When I started this journey I had never given myself any injection and really didn't receive any other than the yearly flu shot. I am so excited to see what the future holds. I do my Endometrial Biopsy Tuesday morning. Then after the Biopsy we just wait on my "monthly friend" to come visit and I contact the nurse from the IVF clinic and start my BCP. That is when the real cycle officially starts:)I believe then we will know a kind of not exact date for the transfer. EEK can you believe it's already here. When I started this journey I knew that there would be people who would support me and people that would judge me. But I have to say that I am so happy with all the support that I have received from not only my family, but also my co-workers. I would like to say Thank you so much to everyone for your support.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Thyroid levels

Ok so I know that I have already posted a blog today but I promised to updated the blog every time something new or exciting happens and today just happen to be two things :)

So if you remember from before. After I had my medical screening in Boston I learning that my thyroid level was elevated at 9. The goal is to have you thyroid level 3 or below. So when I came home I had my level rechecked and it was even more elevated at 9.3. So I was started on Synthroid 50mcg daily. I have had no side effects from the medication. I can even tell a difference I'm not sleepy all the time like I was before starting the medication. Well I have been on the medication for 1 month and 2 days. I went back to the doctor today to have my blood redrawn. I will not have the results until Tuesday but please everyone say a prayer for me that it is within the normal range. We cannot do the transfer as scheduled if it is still elevated.

Reality Check

So over the past few months I have been on all the medications needed for an IVF transfer, I've had multiple ultrasounds to make sure my uterine lining was right on track, I have went through many steps to be a surrogate. I know with all my heart that I want to be a surrogate more than anything. . . Even more so that I've met my IPs. They are the sweetest most deserving people I know. But today I went and bought my first bottle of prenatal vitamins and it made everything so real. I know  I know that might sound crazy and I know that our ending goal is a normal, healthy pregnancy but OMG we are getting so close and I am so excited that I can't even describe it.
So as I stand there yesterday in the vitamin isle trying to decide which prenatal vitamin to buy (there was ALOT of different ones) I was able to decrease my choice in half because I don't like gummy anything so those were off my list. My next thing was which one of these are NOT going to make me sick. So I went with these. They are gel capsule and have 800mcg of folic acid (which is VERY important). I ate dinner last night and took one. And NO nausea. YEAH looks like I picked the right one the first time.  So if anyone is looking for a prenatal vitamin this one gets two thumbs up from me :)

Monday, June 17, 2013

As the Mock cycle comes to an End.

Wow it's been almost a month since I have last blogged. I am so sorry I have just been busy with life. So as you know we have been doing a mock cycle before the real cycle to make sure that my body is adjusting to the medication correctly. It seems like I just started that mock cycle. But realistically it is almost over.

To recap my mock cycle. I started takes Birth control pills May 4th, Started the Lupron injections on May 19th. Stopped the Lupron injections on June 15th. Started my Vivelle patches on May 28th and I am continuing those for now. I started my Progesterone injections and Endometrin vaginal pills on June 15. So that's my quick recap now for a more in depth update.

I just recently started the Progesterone in oil injections on June 15th. These injections must go into a large muscle. Like your backside which also requires a larger needle than the Lupron. Now if you remember correctly the Lupron injections took me a while to administer for the first time. So no surprise to everyone the anxiety over the Progesterone that I built up caused the first injection even longer. My husband was supportive and has been giving me my injections. His statement was "I have given shots to the goats, and horses so you will be fine" Which made me feel so much better. . . . . . . NOT!!!! But they have been going ok. I have noticed a VERY sore buttocks though and some strange dreams. :(. I know it might sound crazy but it almost feels like my uterus is heavy.

The same day I started the progesterone I also started the Endometrin vaginal pills. I guess I was expecting a small pill. Boy was I way off. It is about the size of a dime just different shape. I will take a picture tonight. BUT it doesn't bother me at all because it doesn't require a needle :)

I go in on June 25th for my Endometrial biopsy. I am so nervous about this because the name by itself just sounds painful. I have been told to take ibuprofen and expect some cramping. Which is ok I can deal with cramping. Although the procedure I am not looking forward to. I cannot wait for that day because that means we are officially DONE with the mock cycle and we can move onto the real cycle (as long as everything looks good) I am so excited to get the real cycle going.

I cannot wait to have the privilege to give a very special couple a baby or babies. So that is my updated. I will try to post more often. Please keep me and my IPs in your prayers.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Meds. Meds. Meds

So I just realized that it has been a while since I have last blogged. A lot has happened in that time frame. I got the results back on my TSH and it was 9.3 which is higher than the initial test so I started taking Synthroid. I was told that they want the levels to be between 1-3. So that is my goal. I do have to say since I have started taking it I have more energy. The plan is I will take the medication for 4 weeks and then go back and have my TSH retested so cross your fingers for the level to be 3 or below.

On May 19,2013 I started my Lupron injections which are a subcutaneous injection in the fat. So I am a nurse and I give people shots daily and it does not bother me at all so I should be able to do this without any problems right? WRONG when it came time to give myself a shot I am going to be honest. I danced around the bathroom for 15 min(actually not an estimate) before I had the guts to stink myself. But I have to say it burned a little bit but it wasn't bad at all. I have to give myself 10units every morning when I wake up. So here I am 10 days later and I have no problems and I can't even feel the medication anymore. I have had no side effects from the meds so far.

Today I went to the Dr. for a follow up ultrasound to see how my body was reacting to the medication. I received the good news that my uterus looks fabulous. :) I also started the Vivelle hormone patches today. So it looks like so far we are right on track. We are estimating for the transfer around mid-August. I am so excited and I know that august will be here before I know it. So everyone just keep me and my IPs in your prayers that everything goes as scheduled without any problems.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Guess what arrived today. . . .

The Medicine
I don't know if I explained to everyone that the IVF doctor that it would be best to do a "Mock cycle" Which means that I will do the medicine for 7 weeks and then have a follow up ultrasound to see how my body is reacting to the IVF medicine. I also found out at my medical screening that my TSH (thyroid) was elevated. So I went to have follow up blood work today to see if I need to start medication to lower my thyroid levels.
So I start the mock cycle Sunday. Starting Sunday I will be giving myself SC injections of Lupron and I will do that daily. I have a baseline ultrasound on 5/28 to see how my uterus looks and will start vivelle hormone patches that day. So I have decided that as I go through the medication process that I am going to be 100% honest on how it makes me feel. Although I am praying I feel the same :)

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Medical Screening

Let's see where do I start. It seems like so much has happened since I last blogged. So John and I went to Boston for my medical screening and to finally meet the IPs. This trip is what I would refer to as a very quick trip. We left Bentonville Thursday morning and was back by Friday morning. They flying wasn't to bad. We had to switch planes once in Chicago. We had a few layovers due to rain. I def. got to experience a few first this trip. Once we got to Boston we rode in a cab to our hotel (#1 first riding in a cab) Once we got to the Hotel we took quick showers so that we could have dinner with our IPs.

They took us to the "North End" to eat. Which is primarily Italian food (except for one small Chinese restaurant haha). The restaurant we ate at was so wonderful. Although I knew I was not in Arkansas anymore when the waiter asked us if we wanted "flat water or bubbly water" I was def. unsure how to answer that one so I went with flat :) During dinner we just got to hang out with the IPs and get to know them a little more. The more we talked to them the more we realized how awesome they were. After dinner we walked around looking at all the small Italian restaurants. Which led us to an Italian bakery. Which we then tried a Cannoli (another first) It was so good. We ate one then and saved one for breakfast.  So then they took us back to the hotel and we went to bed.

The next day we knew was going to be a super busy day. We started by getting another cab and heading to MGH well actually the Yawkey Building beside MGH. Our first appointment was at 0945 with someone to explain the medicine part and answer any questions. They also handed me an NEO and PAI which are personality/psych questions 700 questions worth(which took all day to complete). Then they drew about 10 vials of blood from me and sent us to grab a bit to eat.

Our next meeting was at 1045 with Dr.Souter. She did a vaginal ultrasound to make sure everything looked good. (Which it did) Answered any questions we had and went over my previous pregnancy's and my health history. We were then dismissed for lunch.

At 1300 we met with the Social worker. We sat on her big leather couch and pretty much just told her about our life. Of coarse at this time we were both sleepy.

1430 we met with another Dr. This one started with "take everything off from the waist down" sigh oh brother. So he did my pap and collected cultures, Hysteroscopy :the he used a scope to look at my cervix and uterus. He had to insert saline into my uterus to enlarge it and check for fibroids( and boy did it HURT :(. I also turned in my paper work at that time  for the NEO and PAI.

1500 we went back downstairs to meet with the social worker with the IPs. We all sit down and pretty much answered her questions again. We are all on the same page and agree on everything so it was pretty easy convo.

We then went back to the airport and was en route to Arkansas. Although we were able to do many fun things and hang out with some pretty cool people we were ready to be home to our kiddos. I would say that our Boston trip was very productive and I enjoyed it greatly. The next step in the process the medicine so we are almost there :)! I am so excited for the adventure that we are beginning. . . .

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Boston Bound

I know that it has been a while since I last blogged but we were waiting on my "monthly friend" to come so that we could schedule our trip to Boston. Now most months that is the day that I dread the most. BUT this month I was actually counting down the days until it's arrival. But I am happy to announce it made its appearance bright and early this morning. So it looks like everything is right on track. My husband and I will be flying to Boston bright and early Thursday morning and coming home Friday evening. My job has been awesome and helped me schedule my days around this trip. Family has offered to help with the kiddos while we are gone. So lets see. 

1. Work covered. . . . .check
2. Kids covered. . . . . check
3. Menstrual Cycle here and started on Birth control. . . . . check.
4. Hotel Booked. . . . check

It looks like we are all set. Now we wait. :)   Did I forget to mention the most important part. . . . We get to meet the IPs in person!!!!! I am so excited. I think I am like a kid on Christmas day. haha. So it looks like the next time I blog it will be from the hotel room in Boston. This is such an exiting time in our life. Everyone please say a prayer for us that everything is going to run smoothly.

Monday, April 22, 2013

We are Matched. We are Matched. We are Matched.

So I received the good news that we are officially Matched!!! yeah.  The IPs are so sweet and so much like us. I think we will forsure become lifelong friends. I have been set up with a Journey Coordinator who will help me to schedule trips and set things up during this journey. Let's see the next BIG step is to fly (which I am slightly nervous about. I have not been on an airplane since my mission trip to Romania. eek so just say a prayer for me) to Boston for my medical screening and signing the final carrier agreement between me and the IPs. The Medical Screening consist of Blood work from me and my husband and ultrasound. Oh and the most important part. . . . . .Meeting the IPS in person. How exciting is that.!!!

Q&A time: I will try to answer some of the questions that people have asked me:
-I have had many people ask the question "How are you not going to be attached to the baby" That question I cannot answer since this is my first journey but I can say that I have prayed about this long before I decided to do this.  I have the pleasure of going through this journey with an awesome couple that are unable to do this on their own. Just call me the babies first babysitter :) I cannot wait for the IPs to see their first positive pregnancy test, babies first picture on ultrasound, and of coarse see their face when they get to see and hold THEIR baby at delivery.  I mean the thought of all this just literally makes me smile just thinking about it.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Super. Duper. Excited.

So we heard back from Kelly and she said that they liked our profile and set up a time for us to Skype with them. So we got to meet them for the first time(via Skype) tonight. They were so sweet and super easy to talk to. We knew immediately that this is a perfect match. We got to talk with them for a little while and just got to hear their story and get to know them better. So I emailed Kelly and let her know that we want to 100% proceed with this super sweet couple. Now I wait until the BIG trip to be scheduled for the medical screening and to meet the IPs (Intended Parents) in person. I hope everyone is as excited as I am.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Tomorrow is the BIG day. . Well one of the BIG days.

So I completed my MMPI exam( I was very long with very random questions) . I have reviewed a file for IPs. My husband and I both agree that they seem perfect. BUT we find out tomorrow if they choose us. I have a dozen butterflies in my tummy waiting on the results. So I will let y'all know what the official verdict is tomorrow. . . . . Stay tuned :)

Friday, April 12, 2013

Progress. . . . . . So Excited.

So since my last blog I have completed my social worker interview. My husband has completed his social worker interview. I have set up a date for my MMPI exam. AND I have been given a profile of possible IPs (I will not disclose their name) I have looked over their profile and pictures and we have agreed that they would be perfect. They seem so sweet and down to earth. Now we are just waiting to hear back to see if they would like us to be their surrogate. So I guess now we wait. :)

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

How it all started

My Journey to Their Miracle
Let me start off my blog by introducing myself. I am a wife, mother, and full time nurse. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. I have three wonderful children, Joslyn (9), Hunter (8), and Logan (4). I was blessed with 3 very uneventful pregnancy's and deliveries. I am an RN that works in Labor and Delivery and have the privilege of seeing babies be born daily. So that is a little bit about me and my family.
My Journey started on March 17,2013. I was sitting in my chair researching surrogacy and reading through many blogs and surrogate websites. When I was directed to Circle Surrogacy's website. I then started the process of the LONG application process. I was contacted very quickly by Jeni (she is awesome) and was told that I was approved and would be receiving a welcome packet via email very soon. At that time an overwhelming emotion came over me. I am going to be a surrogate. I am going to help a couple have a baby that can't. How awesome is that. . . . .
But let's first get past all the paper work. I finished the welcome packet paperwork. Sent all my medical releases in to have all my medical history and sent it back to them (I figured it would take the longest to get all my health history to them) So I was prepared to have along wait ahead of me. Went to have my yearly OB exam and have my OB clearance form approved. Sent all my insurance information in. And then the wait began. To me it seemed like an eternity(I'm kind of impatient).
Then I received a text on April 5, 2013 stating that they had received all my medical records and have been sent to the IVF physician to be reviewed. Next step Social worker screening. :) So I set up an appointment on 4-9-2013 for my social worker interview (and boy was I nervous) The interview went well and lasted 2 hours. She asked questions like "Tell me about your pregnancy's and Delivery's" to "How did you and your husband meet". So set my husbands social worker interview up for today at 3:00 eek so excited. Then it will be on to signing the final contract and being matched with the IPs.
So here is the beginning to my adventure as a surrogate. Stay tuned for more details.