So I went first thing this morning to have my blood drawn for my beta Hcg. This is the test that test to see how much pregnancy hormone is in your system. I should be about 4 weeks so they are looking for the level to be above 100. I knew that the test was not an instant test but that I would know the answer by the end of the day. So as I patiently awaited the results I cleaned my house and did laundry. As I thought it would the day went by so slow. It seemed like every hour I was looking at the clock.
Around 2ish I got the phone call with the results. . . . . . Negative there was no hcg level in my blood. I am not pregnant. . . I was crushed, in shock, and so disappointed. How could this be everything has went so smoothly. The transfer went great. I had been taking the medication as scheduled and not a minute late. I was so confused. I knew that is was a possibility but it was one that I didn't think would happen so I didn't really consider it or put much thought into.
Then I realized that the next part was going to be one of the hardest things I was going to have to do. To tell the sweetest, most deserving people in the world that the embryo's didn't take and we were not pregnant. That they didn't have a baby/babies on the way. I mean wow what a punch in the gut. That is not a conversation that I ever what to have to experience again. I pray for peace and comfort over them to help them through this hard time.
This was the hardest blog to type. I wanted to just stop and not write anything. To just hide from it. But I realized when I started this blog it was to document my journey, and sometimes bad comes with the good. So I decided that I really needed to share it for people who may be in my same situation. Everyone please say a prayer for my IPs for the hurt they are going through right now. I am not sure what the next step is at this time. All I know is that I have been instructed to stop all medications and I will be told further details at a later time.