Cycle #2

I am so excited and yet nervous to start this next cycle. I received my calendar of medications and ultrasounds regarding when to start/have them and when the transfer will be, and it looks like the following:

-9/10- Start oral birth control- check (headaches)
-9/25 Start the Lupron 10 units sc daily
-9-29 Last day of oral birth control pills and will start period soon
-10/04 Baseline ultrasound to make sure my uterine lining is nice and thin as expected, Start the vivelle patches, and baby aspirin.
-10/12 Start the Estrace 2mg per Vagina daily
-10/21 Ultrasound in am to make sure that my uterine lining is nice and thick for the transfer.
-10/22 Start the Endometrin, Progesterone (Big daddy shots), Doxycycline, and Medrol.
-10/24 Fly to Boston
-10/25 TRANSFER!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I have pretty much cut almost all fast food out of my diet. I have trying to drink a lot more water daily and I am down to one soda daily. I have added alot of fresh fruits and veggies to my diet and I hope that this will help sort of 
cleanse my body to be ready to be pregnant. I have it printed out the calendar and have it hanging in my bathroom like. It is just fun to mark off the days until transfer.

 I was always taught to claim things as though they are. So here we go, This WILL be the cycle that takes, we WILL get pregnant, and we Will have a healthy baby. Please everyone be in agreement with me on this cycle that it will end on a positive note with a healthy baby.

What's next you ask?

Send Baby dust our way :)

I have sit down multiple times to update this blog, but it seem like every time I try nothing comes to my mind. The question that everyone seems to ask is "What is the next step" and the truth is I don't know. I know that we would do another cycle but I was unsure when we would start or if it would be different. If we would stay on the same meds or try new ones.

I have thought multiple times since the transfer "What could I have done different" And honestly I can't think of anything. I did the medicines step by step as ordered, I rested every time I felt the smallest cramp, and most importantly I put my whole heart into it. Every time I think about it, it break my heart. I want nothing more than for my sweet IPs a perfect, healthy baby.

So as of right now I do not know when I start the next cycle. I have been on BCP for about a week (and the headaches have been awful). So I just wait patiently until I get instructions for the next cycle. Thank you everyone for following my blog and keeping up with my journey and I promise I will let you know as soon as I know regarding the next cycle.

Beta Hcg Results

So I went first thing this morning to have my blood drawn for my beta Hcg. This is the test that test to see how much pregnancy hormone is in your system. I should be about 4 weeks so they are looking for the level to be above 100. I knew that the test was not an instant test but that I would know the answer by the end of the day. So as I patiently awaited the results I cleaned my house and did laundry. As I thought it would the day went by so slow. It seemed like every hour I was looking at the clock.

Around 2ish I got the phone call with the results. . . . . . Negative there was no hcg level in my blood. I am not pregnant. . . I was crushed, in shock, and so disappointed. How could this be everything has went so smoothly. The transfer went great. I had been taking the medication as scheduled and not a minute late. I was so confused. I knew that is was a possibility but it was one that I didn't think would happen so I didn't really consider it or put much thought into.

Then I realized that the next part was going to be one of the hardest things I was going to have to do. To tell the sweetest, most deserving people in the world that the embryo's didn't take and we were not pregnant. That they didn't have a baby/babies on the way. I mean wow what a punch in the gut. That is not a conversation that I ever what to have to experience again. I pray for peace and comfort over them to help them through this hard time. 

This was the hardest blog to type. I wanted to just stop and not write anything. To just hide from it. But I realized when I started this blog it was to document my journey, and sometimes bad comes with the good. So I decided that I really needed to share it for people who may be in my same situation. Everyone please say a prayer for my IPs for the hurt they are going through right now. I am not sure what the next step is at this time. All I know is that I have been instructed to stop all medications and I will be told further details at a later time.